January 2011
77 posts
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The coffee that I had was weak. Hence, I had weak...
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I've been running on coffee for five days nao.
And my head is hurting like hell.
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“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the...”
– Oprah Winfrey (via synthplants)
Duct Tape. The answer to life.
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I have an officemate who was there during the...
He makes soaps as a sideline.
If you do not get this, you are as stupid as fuck.
(By the way, this is not a joke. He really does make soaps and he was witness to all those bombings listed above. One reason why his brother called when they learned about the explosion earlier/yesterday. makes you wonder if he’s… nah, too easy. You figure it out.)
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An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to...
Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Professor: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm?
(Student was silent)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Professor: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From.. God.
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Professor: So who created evil?
(Student didn’t answer)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)
Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student: No, sir, there isn’t.
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The class was in uproar)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!
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That student was Albert Einstein.
Brilliant.
Beautifully done.
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Albert E never fails to amaze me! (wow, it rhymed! Now it even amazed me Haha)
~
Just another typical Friday night in the whirlwind world of the Humanities.
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Watchthedailywhat:
Time Saver of the Day: Learn how to do a bunch of things faster with this compilation of shortcut tutorials on everyday activities from shoe tying to egg peeling.
[vvv.]
I need these things in my life.
Especially the parking. And the quick chill. Useful for room temp beer. :D
Outside the government, beyond the police: On... →
sociallyawkwardsarah:
viscoduck:
The first Gen was lovable.
The second was gorgeous.
This third looks promising.
The US version is getting all hate.
I say, give it a chance.
The creator of Skins UK (Bryan Elsley) made it too you know.
I watched the first ep of Skins USA and most of the characters aren’t as…
Hello sociallyawkwardsarah, my friend.
Tony IS a jerk, be it US or UK....
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On Skins.
The first Gen was lovable.
The second was gorgeous.
This third looks promising.
The US version is getting all hate.
I say, give it a chance.
The creator of Skins UK (Bryan Elsley) made it too you know.
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It's ten minutes (okay, nine minutes) before I...
All this calling is making me hungry.
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“The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even...”
– Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior by Amy Chua
And the shitstorm that followed
(via thegreatest)
TRUE DAT. (replace “Chinese” with “Asian”)
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You should never give up when hard times roll in.
NEVER.
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When liberals say that conservatives are closed to...
Just a thought.
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Bianca Manalo (of Juanita Banana fame) looks like...
There are some angles, but not entirely.
Just saying.
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When I try to look sexily into someone's eyes
six-stringnimrodooki:
the-sharpestlives:
twistforawhile:
amongtheashes:
froghat:
mydaddidntstrut:
expectations-vs-reality:
Expectation: Reality:
Submitted by kaaathi
OH MY GOD THE LLAMA
Win.
i just lauhgeed so fucking hard omg what
sweet jesus the llama i am crying
akfhnlhasdgjk… The llama! oh my god!
WHAAAAT.
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Letters from Kids to God
eatingofftommypickles:
jonxmack:
hahahhahah fuck kids are awesome
I LOVE THESE oh i love these jesus
Made me smile this morning. :)
